Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
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