that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Less talking, more tequila
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
