if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
