I could have mohawked her pubes.
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Randomize
