it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
