areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
that's an acceptable place to lick
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
