I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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