the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
I want to be your penis for a week.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize