After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
