I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize