my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
We are all done wearing pants today
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize