we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
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