he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
