your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
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