Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
