My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Randomize
