omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Randomize