How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Randomize
