GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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