come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
