How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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