I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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