hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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