Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Randomize
