I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Michael Bay diarrhea
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Houston, we have a squirter
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
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