Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
