the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize