You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
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