Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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