Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Randomize
