He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Randomize
