Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Randomize
