What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize
