there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
