we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Randomize
