I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
All the doctor said was why
Randomize
