he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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