HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
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