Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
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