I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
