I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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