ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Randomize