Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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