Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Randomize
