party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize
