oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Randomize
