it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
I think I just sharted jello shots
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