My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Randomize