Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Randomize
