sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Randomize