apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
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