i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
He uses pillows to masturbate.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
