I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Randomize
