I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I'm gonna fight the coyote
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
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