just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
