There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
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