so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Randomize
